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The Female Stages of Life

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<PRE>
      AGE 	 DRINK<P>
      17         Wine Coolers
      25         White wine
      35         Red wine
      48         Dom Perignon
      66         Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser<P>

                    EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES<P>
      17         Need to wash my hair
      25         Need to wash and condition my hair
      35         Need to color my hair
      48         Need to have Francois color my hair
      66         Need to have Francois color my wig<P>

                    FAVORITE SPORT<P>
      17         shopping
      25         shopping
      35         shopping
      48         shopping
      66         shopping<P>

                    DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE<P>
      17         "Burger King"
      25         "Free meal"
      35         "A diamond"
      48         "A bigger diamond"
      66         "Home Alone"<P>

                    FAVORITE FANTASY<P>
      17         tall, dark and handsome
      25         tall, dark and handsome with money
      35         tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain
      48         a man with hair
      66         a man<P>

                    HOUSE PET<P>
      17         Muffy the cat
      25         Unemployed boyfriend and Muffy the Cat
      35         Irish setter and Muffy the Cat
      48         Children from his first marriage and Muffy the Cat
      66         Retired husband dabbles in taxidermy, stuffs
                 Muffy the Cat<P>

                    WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?<P>
      17         17
      25         25
      35         35
      48         48
      66         66<P>
               
                   IDEAL DATE<P>
      17         He offers to pay
      25         He pays
      35         He cooks breakfast the next morning
      48         He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids
      66         He can chew breakfast<P>
</PRE>
	
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